So the guy who wrote a memo about my private spiritual work—used by the Grand Master to attack my character—just paid to read more. Yes. He’s now paying me for early access to the content that’s apparently so dangerous it needed a leadership-level smear campaign. At this point, I feel like I’m running an OnlyFans…
Tag: oto high control group
The problem isn’t how you said it. It’s THAT you said it.
There’s always someone who says, “Well, I managed to change things. You must’ve just gone about it the wrong way.” As if the issue was tone. Or strategy. Or not being polite enough in the face of systemic dysfunction. “Maybe your ideas just weren’t good enough. “ “Did you try asking the right person? “…
What happens when you leave a high-control group like OTO
What Happens When You Leave a High‑Control Group Like OTO Everything here is either (a) my first‑hand experience, (b) information given to me by witnesses, or (c) my protected opinion. If you believe any factual statement is inaccurate, please contact me with documentation. When someone speaks publicly about harmful patterns inside a high‑control system, the…
Smearing critics is not coincidence, it’s pattern
It’s strange, isn’t it? Earlier today, someone wrote a frustrated post on the Thelema Facebook group after leaving, and they were labeled unhinged and unsafe. But I spent 11 years calmly building events, mentoring officers, and trying to improve the system—and now that I’ve spoken out with clarity and evidence, I’m likely on a secret…
What Now? Rebuilding After Leaving a Spiritual System
Leaving a spiritual system—especially one you poured your time, emotional energy, and power into—isn’t the end of the road. It’s the beginning of something harder, weirder, and far more honest: finding your way without the scaffolding of someone else’s map. I’m not building a rival “order,” and I’m not interested in better bureaucracy. I’d like…
This is what spiritual control inside OTO looks like
This Is What Spiritual Control Inside OTO Looks Like What follows is my personal experience and interpretation; others’ experiences may differ. These are the author’s opinions, offered for education and recovery support, not allegations of illegal conduct. Let’s talk about something most people associate with cult documentaries and cautionary tales—but that’s actually a lot more…
Why I really left (it wasn’t burnout)
Over the past few days, I’ve seen some people try to explain my resignation as just another case of burnout—like it’s all part of some natural cycle. But behind that tidy narrative is a system trying to pass off its dysfunction as inevitability, and its bad choices as “just the way of the world.” Let’s…
Why I Left Ordo Templi Orientis (OTO) —And What I Saw
Why I Left Ordo Templi Orientis (OTO) – And What I Saw Recorded May 24, 2025. For over a decade, I was an active member of Ordo Templi Orientis. I served as an officer in my lodge. I served as clergy and as a chartered initiator. And eventually I served as Master of my local body….
To those who have reached out—and to those who haven’t
It’s been interesting to see how many current Order members—some of them longtime initiates—have reached out to thank me for saying what they’ve been thinking for years. People are tired of watching dysfunction and self-serving decisions framed as the way of the world by people who aren’t even rational let alone world-wise. Also, to the…
Public Statement: Resignation from O.T.O.
After eleven years of sincere membership and service—including my recent role as Master of Horizon Lodge—I have formally resigned from Ordo Templi Orientis. This is not a decision I made lightly. I invested years of study, leadership, initiation work, and creative output into the Order because I believed in its stated ideals: freedom of will,…