{"id":2281,"date":"2025-06-01T15:54:00","date_gmt":"2025-06-01T22:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lapis-mercurii.org\/lvx\/?p=2281"},"modified":"2026-06-22T16:00:16","modified_gmt":"2026-06-22T23:00:16","slug":"this-is-what-spiritual-control-looks-like","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lapis-mercurii.org\/lvx\/this-is-what-spiritual-control-looks-like\/","title":{"rendered":"This is what spiritual control looks like"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"jetpack-video-wrapper\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"This is what spiritual control looks like\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/mDNrmGDvToM?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">This Is What Spiritual Control Looks Like<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>What follows is my personal experience and interpretation; others\u2019 experiences may differ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These are the author\u2019s opinions, offered for education and recovery support, not allegations of illegal conduct.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s talk about something most people associate with cult documentaries and cautionary tales\u2014but that\u2019s actually a lot more common than it looks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>High-control groups.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not the kind where you&#8217;re forced to cut ties with your family, change your name, and hand over your money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m talking about the kind that shows up inside spiritual communities. Especially the ones that claim to value freedom, growth, and personal sovereignty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because the really dangerous ones? They start with those things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I joined my spiritual community over a decade ago, it felt like home. People were welcoming. I was encouraged to learn. Eventually I felt needed. And in a time of loneliness and spiritual seeking, that could feel like love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But here&#8217;s the thing: high-control groups don\u2019t start with control. They start with appreciation. With purpose. With beauty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And over time\u2014so slowly you barely notice\u2014the rules start to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The warmth cools into judgment. The inspiration calcifies into dogma. And your sense of self starts to erode under the pressure to conform.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the most helpful tools I\u2019ve found for understanding this shift is called the BITE Model, developed by cult recovery expert Steven Hassan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It describes four types of control:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Behavioral Control<br><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Information Control<br><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Thought Control<br><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Emotional Control<br><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>You don\u2019t need all four to be in a harmful system. But when multiple show up? It\u2019s time to pay attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So let\u2019s walk through them\u2014with some examples drawn from real-life experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Behavior Control<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>This is when your actions, time, or relationships are no longer fully your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe you\u2019re warned not to invite someone to your private event\u2014even when it\u2019s not affiliated with the group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe, in your experience, rules suddenly seem to be made more strict for certain individuals or events but loosened for others in a way that seems retaliatory.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe you set a boundary with someone, and rather than supporting you, some peers pressure you to make amends, seemingly because the person is well\u2011liked or connected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe you\u2019re told that holding someone accountable is blowing things out of proportion.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or maybe you feel hesitant to speak up because you fear it will destabilize the group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>None of that is accountability. It\u2019s behavioral control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Information Control<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In high-control groups, information becomes leverage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Private conversations can end up reported. Filtered social media posts may get screenshotted and passed along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You hear secondhand that you\u2019re being discussed in meetings you weren\u2019t invited to. People \u201cexpress concern\u201d not to your face\u2014but to your peers, your superiors, or your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rumors can start circulating with no clear source. You\u2019re left guessing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And if you try to speak up or correct the record?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You might be told you\u2019re being \u201cunfraternal.\u201d Or \u201ccausing drama.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s not maturity. In my view that\u2019s surveillance culture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Thought Control<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>This one is subtle but deadly to spiritual life. It shows up when disagreement becomes disloyalty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You ask a hard question\u2014and you\u2019re told it \u201cundermines harmony.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You express a respectful critique, and people start implying that you&#8217;re violating your obligations or otherwise jeopardizing your belonging to the group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe you\u2019re pulled aside and told you shouldn\u2019t challenge senior members\u2019 opinions\u2014even if those opinions are public and presented as authoritative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe you&#8217;re warned not to publish your writing on certain platforms because it might \u201csend the wrong message.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And eventually, you stop asking. You stop sharing. You start censoring your own thoughts\u2014not because you\u2019ve changed your mind, but because you\u2019ve learned what happens when you don\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s not spiritual growth. In my opinion that\u2019s thought policing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Emotional Control<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>And this one? This is the deepest cut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe you start to notice that:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Saying \u201cno\u201d makes you feel guilty.<br><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Setting a boundary leads to pressure and manipulation.<br><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Disagreeing with someone \u201cimportant\u201d gets framed as betrayal.<br><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You feel responsible for other people\u2019s discomfort.<br><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You constantly brace for retaliation just for being.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>You begin filtering your truth to avoid conflict. You soften your language until it doesn\u2019t mean anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You try to protect your energy, your clarity, your self, but the cost is high.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You start to feel like you\u2019re in a minefield.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s not an ordeal of initiation. In my opinion, that\u2019s emotional control dressed up as sacred duty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And you\u2019re not refusing initiation by refusing to participate in it. You\u2019re reclaiming your self.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let me say this plainly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A high-control group doesn\u2019t have to isolate you from your family. It doesn\u2019t have to demand your money or make you change your name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It just has to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Reward silence<br><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Punish boundaries<br><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Treat autonomy as a threat<br><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>And use spiritual language to cover its tracks<br><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>I stayed in one of these systems for over a decade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And I stayed, in part, because it didn\u2019t look like a high-control group\u2014at least not at first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It looked like purpose. It looked like service. It looked like belonging and ownership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And then it didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You don\u2019t need a sophisticated analysis to know when something\u2019s wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If your \u201cspiritual path\u201d demands that you shrink yourself\u2026If every time you assert a boundary, you\u2019re met with resistance or shaming\u2026If what used to feel like alignment now feels like grief, exhaustion, or fear of \u201cmaking waves\u201d or being tattled on\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s not beauty. That\u2019s not harmony. That\u2019s not Will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And your clarity? Your body? Your feelings?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They\u2019re not liabilities. They\u2019re signals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Listen to them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This Is What Spiritual Control Looks Like What follows is my personal experience and interpretation; others\u2019 experiences may differ. These are the author\u2019s opinions, offered for education and recovery support, not allegations of illegal conduct. Let\u2019s talk about something most people associate with cult documentaries and cautionary tales\u2014but that\u2019s actually a lot more common than&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[32,506,505,67,66,488,487,2],"class_list":["post-2281","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-aleister-crowley","tag-cult-recovery","tag-cults","tag-ordo-templi-orientis","tag-oto","tag-oto-high-control-group-2","tag-oto-high-control-group","tag-thelema"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lapis-mercurii.org\/lvx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lapis-mercurii.org\/lvx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lapis-mercurii.org\/lvx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lapis-mercurii.org\/lvx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lapis-mercurii.org\/lvx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2281"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lapis-mercurii.org\/lvx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2282,"href":"https:\/\/lapis-mercurii.org\/lvx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281\/revisions\/2282"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lapis-mercurii.org\/lvx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2281"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lapis-mercurii.org\/lvx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2281"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lapis-mercurii.org\/lvx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2281"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}