One of the malicious lies OTO leadership is circulating right now, in an attempt to discredit me, is that I had a complete personality change in the months leading up to my resignation.
Their explanation? Spiritual psychosis.
Let’s be clear: this is a smear. It’s a textbook tactic used by high-control groups when someone leaves and tells the truth. If they can’t refute the message, they pathologize the messenger.
They know my words are landing—with people inside and outside the Order. They know I was seen as stable, creative, and trustworthy for over a decade. So now they need a story to explain the fact that someone like that would leave.
And here’s the truth: I did change.
Not in the way they say—but in a way that made it inevitable that I’d walk away.
Because at a certain point, I made the conscious decision to take my own side.
• I stopped ignoring what I already knew.
• I stopped rationalizing betrayal as the cost of “fraternity.”
• I stopped tolerating loyalty tests disguised as leadership.
And most importantly—I stopped betraying myself.
Yes, I updated my wardrobe. Yes, I changed how I delivered rituals and lectures. I started expressing myself in ways that felt true, embodied, alive. I got louder, brighter, and sharper.
And for the first time in years, the lodge felt electric. We were packing the house. People were excited to initiate again. There was momentum, joy, and magick.
But to those clinging to the Order’s decaying authority structures, that was terrifying.
So now, in hindsight, I’m being accused of “spiritual psychosis.”
• For wearing scarves.
• For experimenting with expression.
• For telling the truth they couldn’t control.
If you want to know who’s really envious in this story, just look at who’s still talking about me and spying on me