Will functions a bit like qi. It’s an impersonal, interconnecting divine energy. Hadit is like the boson that communicates it (similar to how the photon communicates the electromagnetic force).
One’s own will is the characteristic way in which this force, emanating from an unknown source within oneself, flows outward into the rest of the universe. One’s nervous system functions like channels carved into rocks by the energy of this outflow.
Your true will is the way in which the divine within dynamically fits you to your environment. To know and do your will is to be sensitive to that process of dynamic adaptation on a moment-by-moment basis and to work with it rather than against it.
The most basic and accessible way in which one’s true will manifests is at the level of emotions in the body. How does “yes” feel at the level of the body? How does “no” feel? How does “maybe” feel?
This kind of basic acquaintance with core yesses and nos does not give an exhaustive description of the authentic self, but in my opinion it’s the 20% of the work that accomplishes about 80% of the result.
One’s boundaries—one’s basic “nos”—are nearly synonymous with one’s actual self. This is something that changes over time, depending upon the situation, which is why discovering and putting your will into effect is not something you do just once. It’s not abstract; it’s concrete and dynamic.
Crowley says that magick fails because of ambivalence—being divided in oneself. The postulate of magick never fails to be satisfied. You will be dragged to the destination your will is taking you no matter what, but unless you are pure (unified in yourself), it will be an unpredictable vector sum rather than a reflection of what you think you want.
We see this reflected on a basic, practical level in the phenomena of procrastination, self-sabotage, self-abandonment, and people-pleasing. These are all instances in which the outcome of the magical operation does not match the semantic content of the magical oath. Jung described these as cases in which the unconscious drives us toward outcomes we call “fate”.
If you want to see a vivid case-study of these ideas, check out the show, Baby Reindeer. (Hope you have a strong stomach!)
The free flow of energy through the physical body is propaedeutic to working with energy in the body of light. The magically purified and consecrated body is a symbol through which we participate in macrocosmic deity, symbolized as the ecstastic union of Nuit and Hadit or the two-in-one ON.
The first and last work involved in the union of Heaven and Earth is this basic acquaintance with the manifestation of emotion and desire at the level of the physical body.