Essays and resources on philosophy, Thelema, spiritual ethics, and the dynamics of high-control groups.
This summer, I’ve put out a lot of content about Ordo Templi Orientis. I’ve described how it promotes unstable leaders, protects high-degree abusers, spies on its members, punishes criticism, and sculpts people into shapes fundamentally at odds with the Law of Thelema. The reactions have been intense: gratitude from those relieved to hear their experiences…
What Comes After Leaving O.T.O. From Exile to Emergence INTRO Leaving a high-control group is a rupture. A death. Sometimes walking through fire. But what comes next—when the mask is gone and the air is clear? Hi, my name is James. A few months ago, I left Ordo Templi Orientis, or OTO, after 11 years…
Once you see these patterns, you can refuse to let them define you. You can step out of the war—and into the myth of becoming sovereign, visible, virtuous, and free.
How to Know When It’s Time to Go Intro Sometimes the moment comes quietly. Sometimes it slams into you. But either way, there’s a moment—a threshold—when staying in a system designed to contort you becomes impossible. Hi, my name is James. I’ve left two systems like this. One I was born into. One I chose….
What makes a spiritual community worthy of your life? The answer isn’t in the group’s mission statement or bylaws. And believe it or not, it’s not found simply in doing ritual together or holding potlucks. It’s revealed by the patterns of behavior in the community—and whether those patterns lead to positive transformation over time or…
Twelve Pillars of a Spiritually Sovereign Community How to Build Containers That Hold Real Power, Real People, and Real Change Intro There’s a question I’ve been thinking about for a long time now. I thought about it when I was a member of OTO. I thought about it more when I was master of an…
Not all initiations begin with candles and blindfolds. Some begin in silence. Some begin with panic. Some begin the moment you stop pretending. Many people see leaving a high-control group like O.T.O. as a collapse—even a failure—especially if you leave angry. But what if it’s something else entirely? The Four Powers of the Sphinx—To Know,…
The Initiation that Wasn’t in the O.T.O. Ritual I’ve been through a lot of initiations over the years. Honestly, most of them were pretty cool. And in an age that’s lost the ability to mark the major passages of life with true solemnity, group sacredness can feel novel. But none of them prepared me for…
For some people in abusive or high-control systems—families, relationships, or spiritual groups—there comes a moment when something inside them knows: This place can’t hold me anymore. It’s not always clear in the moment. But in hindsight you can see: you weren’t broken, you weren’t rebelling, and it didn’t come out of nowhere. You just hit…
How to leave O.T.O. without losing yourself Introduction You don’t have to be in a stereotypical cult to feel like you can’t say what you think. You don’t have to be in an overtly abusive household or relationship to walk away from a conversation wondering what just happened. You don’t have to be in literal…